Sunday 13 February 2011

Satisfaction in insignificance (2nd edition)


In 2009 I wrote my first ever blog post. It was a deep one, I'm not going to lie, but it clearly identified a key episode of change in in my life and in my thinking. Blah blah blah. The point is, I was recently reminded that I'm lucky to have written down my thoughts so early on and I've probably been making less sense ever since.

Why this re-post now? Merely because these song lyrics played on my Ipod yesterday, and it all came flooding back:
'I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want than to take what you give that I need.' Rich Mullins


01.02am, Sat 28th MAR 2009: I've decided to write a note. Not too deep that it makes philosophers go into meditation but deep enough for a good number to question my sanity.

You know when your walking on a beach, along the waters edge, and your eyes scan the sand ahead of you- firstly to avoid the general crap but also because you have always dreamt of seeing something special hidden amongst the clusters of grit. A piece of an old ship’s bell just peaking up in the sand, an old roman coin washed ashore from a wreck half a mile off the coast of Fiji, a pebble perfectly encrusted with a prehistoric creature that tells the story from years ago. I don’t think it’s the age of the item, it is more the excitement of spotting that something- constructing an incredible story to go with ‘what it could be’- running toward it- scraping it clean- taking it home- spending time evaluating it- looking on the Internet or reading a book to investigate it- telling people (who may not care what you found on the beach the day before!). I would imagine that, unless it had some value, either emotional or monetary, it would soon become a piece of clutter. And even value can seem to diminish when you get complacent with it.

But what if that item, which had now become clutter, sat on a mantle piece gathering dust, did indeed have value- value that was priceless- in-fact gaining value daily. What if someone who knew more about these types of thing came in your house one day and saw it, and you could see from the way their face lit up every time their eye scanned it, that was actually very valuable. That the investigation you first put into it, which initially gave you interest, was not as thorough as you thought. In theory my reaction would be to become very interested in it again, very quickly.

But that doesn’t always seem to be the case. The revolving doors of peoples hearts push in and push out so much crap that the good stuff gets put aside because its stable. And begins to gather dust. It seems that we're still looking for the next sparkly item to capture our two second attention span- when our value is actually hidden inside the safety of our house, willing to benefit. It may have once been thought that we knew all that this item could offer but slowly other people are seeing the revolution in the shards of its sparkle, in the grave clothes, in the scars. We had become so content with the information gained from initial investigations- but there was/is so much more.

If we know something of the predicted value, if we know the benefits, if we have experienced the joy and know there is much more ahead for the investigator, why decide to enjoy looking for other insignificant items? I do, and I can’t work it out.

Facebook has become a little bit of a beach for me. Exploring the possibilities of the worthless. That is why I’m having a little fast. To think. To read. To pray. 


And there you go. That was my first post. 

I think I need to take some of my own advice again.

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